Way to Kill Time

Wanna kill yourself?

honestly, there's nothing going on in my mind. some people want to kill themselves because they have so many problems to solve, so many people (and attitudes) to deal with, etc and what better way to break free from all these sickening things..? kill yourself! but this does not work for me.

if you've read the previous post, you'll know that i don't have anything to do in the office. well, sometimes, i mean at least every 7th-10th of the month, i'm busy but for the other 20days i'm free and literally doing nothing, but stare on the screen of my monitor, play cafe world, read some blogs about the latest trends and juiciest gossips (haha i've even finished watching gossip girl, complete 3 seasons. how cool was that?) and then pretend to be working for the rest of my 9hr-shift.

so, why do i thought of this topic? simply because i think this is the best and the most excruciating way to die. oh, what is 'this' pertaining to? no other than my work. if some people complain how toxic their work is, clearly they have not experienced working here, for this company, with these people. wow. it's like i've committed a sin that's not forgivable ever - that i am doomed for eternity. what else could be more painful than knowing that you have all the energy, the talent, the knowledge and the ability to do greater things (not only for yourself or for the company but most importantly for other people) but not being able to utilize them? i mean, it's like living for nothing at all.

so if you're gonna ask me what better way to kill yourself? apply here in our office. kidding! just do nothing. just waste your time staring at something. eat out a lot. and of course, don't use your mind so that your brain cells would die, one by one until they're all gone. hahahaha at least you're sure you'll die 'peacefully' and that you'll look fabulous inside the box. :)

i dont deserve this punishment.

What have i done to deserve this punishment? For the past week, i haven't done anything productive. i have been spending my 9hr-shift in the office watching gossip girl season 1 -3.  what a way to kill time and my brain cells? do i really deserve this punishment? How long will this curse last? i have to admit, at first i love my job because the company's paying me for doing nothing- just sitting here in front of my computer pretending to prepare some reports for social media and the affiliate performance. Do they really think that it would take me one whole day to finish such reports? hahaha 10 minutes is more than enough to prepare three reports.

but now, after more than a year of pretenses, it caught up with me. i cant bear this curse anymore. as the days passed, i couldn't help but blame myself for accepting this position. I should be out there (wherever it is or whatever job it is that requires a person to think), using every knowledge and info that i've gained in my four years of stay in the ateneo. i can be a guidance councilor or a teacher or just a sub-teacher, i just need to take up some teaching units. i can be a marketing or sales person. i know i can do it, i've been taught how to come up with a good BS. simply put, i'm willing to have whatever position it is that would allow me hone my skills, improve myself and help other people, after all, i am a woman for others. :)

Best trip so far

Literal, so far. super layo. 8 hours yata kaming nakaupo sa bus. super sakit ng puwet ko. nakakaloka. at yung driver, magaling sya. magaling syang magburda. hamakin mo naman, ginawang parang pansulsi yung bus, karayom at sinulid. isipin nyo kung paano maburda, yun na! nagka-windang windang kaming laaht na pasahero. at lahat 'to habang nanonood kami ng The Beach. bongga di ba? winner talaga!

anyway, eto ung kwento. nagpunta kami ng high school kada ko sa Calaguas Island at Bagasbas, Camarines Norte last weekend. Nako! nag-file pa ako ng leave noon para doon. in all fairness, kahit isang linggong leave pa ang kelangan, magleave ako ulit para bumalik doon. super ganda kasi talaga ng lugar e. parang boracay pre-commercialization. parang malaking Potipot island.

view from the top of "Calaguas" mountain

bale, yan ang half ng island, left part na if your facing the island mismo. the other half where we stayed kasi e hindi na kita/sinama (may tents kasi namin so hindi masyadong maganda) sa picture. hahaha Sa dulong left nito, magaganda ung bato as in major lalaking bato (chakka!hahaha) may kadulasan nga lang. (oo, nadulas ako... :p) meron sana mas magandang pic nitong rocks pero hindi pwede kasi may tao na e baka makasuhan pa ko ng kung anumang kasong pangkahalayan..hahaha

Isang araw at isang gabi lang kami sa Calaguas. Nakakaloka kasi walang matinong cr doon. well, merong toilet seat pero syempre walang flush. at nga pala, walang kuryente sa buong isla. syempre wala ring signal ang Globe, Smart, SUN, TNT, Red, TM.

after Calaguas, Bagasbas (Island - nga ba?) naman kami. doon kami nagsurf. at doon ko nakilala si kuya bogs. in all fairness, hot sya (pag nasa tubig).hahaha ok, so first time kong nag surf. tapos hottie pa ung instructor, i think i love surfing..?hahahaha uulit pa ako. promise. here's one of my pics. medyo awkward lang yung tayo ko kasi nga first time db?hahaha

wala na akong masabi dahil yeller! obvious bang ang ganda ganda ng places na pinuntahan ko?hahaha well, meron pala akong tip: if you wanna have an amazing trip, go with Travel Factor. their people are nice and really cool. and oh, the trip was superb not to mention super affordable. :)

How Long Will I Suffer?

How Long Will I Suffer?

“You can’t see your mother’s dead body! You’re a robber! A disobedient daughter! You are the very cause of my beloved’s estate. I hate you! I don’t need you! Get lost! Go to Hell!”

“But father please, I want to see my mother. I want to ask forgiveness from her. I want to see my mother.”

I can still remember when I was a student, I like going out with my friends to parties; and being a teenager I was always curious and inquisitive with the things around me.

But every time I go with my friends, my mother is always there, asking me not to do this or that and I always get angry with her meddling.  One night, while I was dressed and waiting for my friends to pick me up, my mother asked me where I was going, and she pleaded for me to stay home. But I shouted at her angrily. “You aging sickly woman! Get out of my way! You always meddle with my affairs. Maybe, I am not your real daughter, that’s why you don’t allow me to go out with my friends and be happy with them.” Then I pushed her out of my way, turned my back on her and left her crying.

When I came back, I was terribly trembling, sweating and thirsty. “I need to have an injection. I must be injected with drugs. But how? I don’t even have a single centavo left? Oh, I remember, there’s some money for my mother’s medicine on the shelf.” I have taken it and hurriedly went out of the house without paying attention to my mother’s calls because she could hardly get up to follow me out. How happy was I then.

One evening, when I went home- when I was still 30 meters away from our house, I saw that our house was so bright, and there are so many people inside. “Oh God!”, I said to myself. “Maybe my father and our neighbors are celebrating for my mother’s recovery”. I continued walking and after a few minutes, I reached our house.

The door was open and to my surprise, my father stopped me and pushed me out and shouted angrily,

“You can’t see your mother’s dead body! You’re a robber! A disobedient daughter! You are the very cause of my beloved’s estate. I hate you! I don’t need you! Get lost! Go to Hell!”

“But father please, I want to see my mother. I want to ask forgiveness from her. I want to see my mother.”

“Oh God, what have I done? I’ve lost my virginity and honor. I’ve lost the love of my father. And above all, I’ve lost my mother. Oh God, how long will I suffer?”

*Bow*

What's Up Banana Ketchup?!

So kumusta naman ang araw ninyo? ako, bonggang bonggang katakawan ang umatake simula pa lang ng umaga ko. di ba 'im on a diet'? hahahaha kahapon yun, hindi na ngayon. narealize ko lang na kahit anong pagpapakagutom ang gawin ko, hindi enough and 4 days para mawala ang bilbil ko para sa Calaguas trip ko bukas. at dahil sa realization na yon, wala na akong pakialam. as in QUEBER! kain galore na ito! aba naman! 3 days na akong gutom, walang rice no! hello?! sinong hindi magugutom nun? eto, sabi ko coffee and skyflakes and fruits for breakfast db? ASA! tignan nyo mga kinain ko simula kahapon (take note: diet pa ako nito):

Breakfast
5 tbsp of fried rice
1 slice of tinapang bangus
2 pancakes

Snack
1 apple
1 pack hansel cookies

Lunch
1 pear
1 pack choco flavored inipit
4 coffee candies

Snack
1 korean pear

Dinner
1 bowl beef nilaga
1 bowl pakbet

Midnight Snack
1 bowl Banana Nut Clusters with Vanilla flavored Soy Milk

Breakfast
1 corned beef sandwich
1 cafe latte
1 McDo pineapple pie

Lunch
1 Sausage McMuffin with strawberry preserve
1 apple

Snack
1 Sausage McMuffin with strawberry preserve ULIT!

Dinner
dont know yet.

well, one thing's for sure, super daming food for dinner kasi birthday ng uncle ko ngayon. GOOD LUCK! goodbye diet na talaga ito.

urgh! though i really wanna have a sexy (or at least, 'presentable') figure, i dont think i can control myself from eating. you know, it's one of my favorite 'hobby' and i'm very good at it..hahahaha so there, i could use some luck or maybe lock para maikulong ko ang sarili ko sa loob ng ref! joke! =) *bow*

Change of Heart

I thought i could do it. not eating rice is easy. i've done that before. but not eating fish and red/white meat? that's a different story. yesterday, at breakfast i thought i could eat fish (fried kippers) without garlic rice. but i cant resist the aroma of the garlic and so i gave in. i said that would be the last time that i'd eat rice this week. i was pretty sure of that. for lunch i had corn. for dinner, i had prok sinigang minus the pork.

but because i ate 2 servings of cookies and cream ice cream yesterday while watching 3 consecutive movies namely Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, From Paris With Love and Dear John, my plan had changed. i wont stick to the 1200 calorie diet for this week. not even the 4oo calorie diet. what i'm gonna follow is my personalized 'diet plan' what is consist of the following -plus lots of water and should be eaten (religiously) every 4 hrs:

Breakfast (i just had this 5mins ago)
1 cup cafe latte
1 skyflakes FIT
1 choco-flavored inipit

Morning snack
1 fuji apple (or korean pear)

Lunch
1 serving of salad (lettuce, carrots and grapes)
1 banana

Afternoon snack
1 pear (or 1 serving of sliced peaches)

dinner
any vegetable or fish dish prepared at home - skip the rice and other condiments, iced tea and desserts

as you've noticed, i'm only allowed to drink 1 cup of coffee a day and lots of water. No sodas, tetra packed and canned juices, etc. But i'm allowing myself to drink a cup of buko juice, only if it's FRESH. :)

I really hope this diet works for me. I only have 4 days to do this before my UBBE Calaguas Surfvivor trip.